Recognizing Quarter Life Crisis

these pigeons means freedom

I'm worried. I've been observing my self for the past few weeks. On how I work. On how I deal with situations. On how I voice out my opinions. I know I wanted to travel. I want to take an off from work for quite a long time. I just want to live a simple, quiet and happy life. Without worrying that anytime, I might burst up with emotions, I might say anything that might hurt people, or I might screw up my work because I'm out of focus. I just want my well deserved rest.



When everything turned up-side down

when you were young...

I spent the early years of my womanhood loving things I thought woman at my age should love..party, beach, being drunk, shoes, bags, clothes, skin care, and of course...make up.

When I was a bit younger (aka early 20's), I would spent my nights going out with friends and drinking till I pass out. Then, when I was in my mid-20's, everything changed when I found out that there's something wrong with my self. Yeah, health issues. It is when I stopped drinking, going out and just stay at home making sure that I don't skip any meds. It wasn't that hard, physically. You'll just suffer some belly aches from time to time, have a hard time breathing, and unlimited migraine. It lasted for few months. When I had my last session that year, doctor said I'm totally fine.



It don't break even

Just like these bag full chocolates...they are sweet but no matter how many they are, soon it will be empty.

It was also that time when I had this complicated relationship with a guy. He used to make me happy and feel so loved and I'm crazily in love with him and ready to give everything...you know "everything". It all started without us realizing that the feelings are growing. Worst, it started very wrong since one is still committed. During the course of the relationship, I had so many down times than up but still stayed because, ummm...I was happy. Or at least I think I was happy.

It lasted for quite a while when I realized that it isn't going anywhere. I'm growing old and I can't be on that same situation again for the years to come. Those years are enough for me to learn my lessons and charge those heart aches to experience. I had to leave. I had to quit. I had to go down to get up and fix myself.



Realization

When my life was as messy as my cabinet

It felt like everything dropped on me. I quit my job, trying to heal a broken heart, struggling with some family and health issues and trying to reconnect with friends and the world. Then you'll hear your "friends" got promoted, migrate abroad, get married, bought a house or car, or watevs accomplishment they had in their f*cking life.

It was a big moment of realization when you find yourself as a big mess. It's the right time to think about yourself and figure where you want yourself to be in years to come. You had no other way but up.....because you hit the rock bottom already.  Then you realize, shit. This is it. It's time for you to welcome another stage in your life and say..."Hello QLC, it was very nice to meet you!"


Next: Fighting QLC in red stilletos



P.S. article was written January 2012